Tuesday, April 2, 2013

B is for Things That Go Bump In The Night

"Ouch, that was my knee you big baboon," Betsy cried. The darkness was so dark that even if she held her hand in front of her face, she would not have seen it.
"Sorry, but I can't see anything," Ben said nervously. If he had rolled his eyes, no one would know.

"Where's my cell phone?" she complained.

"What the heck, we need a flashlight, not a cell phone." Ben stumbled into the tree that they had been sleeping under. "Where did the moon go?"

"It must be a new moon tonight," Betsy said.

"Great, that's a lot of help."

They both had fallen asleep under a big pine tree after a huge picnic. The sun had set hours earlier.

Betsy continued to search the blanket for her cell phone which would make a bright flashlight, and Ben began to gather their things by feeling for the basket where he had placed his keys. His knee landed on something hard, when a light blinded them both.

"There it is," she sighed. "Thanks for finding it."

"No problem," he said, rubbing his knee.

A low rumble sounded into the night.

"Stop growling, Ben. You sound like an ole bear."

"That wasn't me," Ben said warily.

Betsy clicked the flashlight icon on her phone and it whistled into a bright light. The brightness sliced the darkness like a knife. After her eyes adjusted, she slowly moved the light around the area they stood, searching the blackness where the sound had resonated from.

Betsy caught a of flash of movement as the light scanned the trees. A cracking sound like broken branches crunching under a very heavy foot echoed into the night.

"What was that?"

"Forget the blanket and basket, we'll come back for it tomorrow. We need to get out of here, like NOW," Ben whispered.

They headed in the direction of their car, when they both ran smack into the path of a big, black bear. It startled the bear as much as it had Ben and Betsy. The bear stood tall, and growled into the night, then turned and ran as fast as he could.

Betsy and Ben froze, slowly exhaled, and then took off running. By the time they'd reached the car, neither of them could utter a single word for lack of oxygen. Ben, luckily, had retrieved his keys from the basket before they ran. Because he was not going back into the woods with that huge black bear nearby.

"That was a close call," Ben sighed.

Betsy nodded.

Safe in their car, they drove in silence until they reached Burger King, and shared a big coke.


Had fun writing this story stocked full of b-words.  I counted 48 (some duplicates, but still 48) b-words.


Sharon Himsl said...

Good use of the b-words and cute story with pictures...could also be a future scene in a book?

Sally @ Breaking Cover said...

Great piece. Our writing group has a writing task each week in which you have to include a word or phrase in some flash fiction. It's not always easy, so well done. can we expect more?

Good luck with the A-Z.

Kathy Collier said...

Hi Sharon: Thanks. I was tired and goofy when I did this last night, but still had fun.

Kathy Collier said...

Thank you, Sally: I love writing flash fiction, it gets the juices flowing in the old brain. I do it just for fun. Our writing group doesn't meet like it should here, but there is one about 30 minutes away.

Patricia Lynne said...

Great piece. I love all the B words. The last line was just cute. Put an image of a couple at a 50s restaurant in my head. lol

Lynn Proctor said...

great job kathy---i was so enthralled in the story, i didn't notice the b words--genius!

Kimmy K said...

Hopper from Blogging A to Z, started following you :)

A Mom's Point Of View

Kathy Collier said...

Thanks Patricia. I enjoyed your post too. I couldn't find a picture of coke at Burger King. So I just posted a bottle of coke.

Kathy Collier said...

Thanks Lynn for stopping by. I loved your piece on the biscuits (Yum, now I'm hungry) This was just a fun post. I was too tired to research anything knowledgeable.

Kathy Collier said...

Hey Kimmy K, I enjoyed your blog.

Melissa Sugar said...

Clever use of "B" words. Burger King and a big coke made me hungry. Hi, I am a new follower from the A to Z challenge. It is nice to meet you.

Wendy H said...

I am reading this about 1:00 PM and haven't eaten lunch, and I agree with Melissa, the Burger King and Big Coke references are making me hungry!

Nice to meet you through the A to Z!

Noree Cosper said...

Cute story. Love the way you fit the b words into it.

Ermie said...

I love the way the atmosphere and pace changes when they hear the bear growling. And the ending... ha ha! Love it! :-)

Just Ermie &
Short Story Ideas

Alternative Foodie said...

That was breath holding scene, what a relief, the ending ;)
(Thank you Kathy for visiting us at nuttybean, and am glad you enjoyed the Brussels trip.)

ViolaFury said...

I think this is great, Kathy. I really never think of anything like this and I was taken in right from the beginning. Your placing of your pics within the story most excellent as well, like editing in movies. Thanks for the fun and creativity!

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