Monday, September 5, 2011

Bring It On

 If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), use the same beginning words and end with the words: "the door swung shut." (also included in the word count)

So here goes;

Bring It On:

            "Home Again"

The door swung open and Olivia’s heart stopped. In the doorway with a sheepish grin creeping across his familiar face stood her son. Her knees weakened as she stared unbelieving. Grasping her heart with one hand, she gathered herself as the tears rushed to the brim.

Richard’s outstretched arms invited her, beckoned her, but her legs would not move. Her heart leapt, beating harshly against the walls of her chest.

“Mom,” Richard said. His brows raised mirroring the same blue eyes as his mother. His sweet voice echoed into her ears like the memories of years gone by, so familiar.

“Richard,” she gasped, “Is it really you?”

“It’s really me, Mom. I’m home.”

Olivia stood more stalwart, brushed the wispy pieces of her white hair back with her shaking hands, smoothed her faded dress and rushed to Richard’s waiting arms.  Once inside his warm, strong grip, she sobbed uncontrollably.

Silently, he walked her to a chair, where he knelt before her and whispered, “I love you, mom.”

“ I didn’t get to tell you. I wanted to whisper in your ear, I love you, too. I tried to tell you, but there were others, and then the door swung shut.”



20 comments:

Patricia T. said...

I want to know more -- was Richard in prison? Very rich in description and beautifully written.

Patricia T.

Alleged Author said...

Awww. I love that a son comes back to his mother. :)

KSCollier said...

Hi Patricia:

I kept it at 200 words. In my mind he was returning from war unannounced.

Thank you for your comment.

KSCollier said...

Thank you Alleged Author for your comment. I need to get busy and read the others. This is exciting.

Danyelle L. said...

I love the sweet, tender feeling this brings. Very nice! :D

Amanda Leigh Cowley said...

Hi there!

I'm one of the judges for this challenge, and I just want to let you know that you have been short-listed to move on to stage two of the competition. Your entry touched me; a feel-good tear-jerker! Well done.

There will be a semi-final (stage three) and a final (stage four).

Best of luck!!

Roland D. Yeomans said...

I figured he was returning from war unexpected. We must think in similar ways. Great job, Roland

bridget said...

Darn it, I knew he was going to be dead and I really didn't want him to be. Still it was well done. mine is #72

KSCollier said...

Thank you everyone for your comments. I have enjoyed reading everyone else's stories. They are all so good.

Thank you Amanda for the welcome to Stage two.

Thank you for your comments.

Good luck to all.

1000th.monkey said...

I totally thought he was dead/a ghost because of the line starting with, 'His sweet voice..."

Congrats on being shortlisted!

AveryMarsh said...

Such a beautiful scene, and wonderfully written. Congrats on going to the next round. You deserve it. ;)

Coleen Patrick said...

So heartwarming! Great story :)

KSCollier said...

Thanks everyone! I loved reading each of your works of art, and all the fabulous thoughts that went into your stories or poems. They are all so interesting to read. I love this contest. It has been so much fun and I believer everyone is a winner by just posting your work, and drawing us to each other's site. Good Luck everyone!

Richard said...

Very touching. I definitely want to know the backstory.

Sandwiched Writer said...

This rings true. I want to know more!

Rinni said...

I love the way you put so much feeling, love and emotion into such few words. This story really touched my heart as chills ran up my spine. All the young men and women fighting for our country and the emotions a mother goes through when they leave and return... this story nailed. I can't wait to read more from you. Loved it!!

Margo Kelly said...

congrats on being short-listed!

I'm a fellow campaigner and new follower. Nice to meet you!

Sally Stackhouse said...

An emotional piece. I had surmised that he was in one of the armed services.

Doreen said...

Oh that made me call my son and tell him I love him! I was thinking a ghost from war or alive from war unannounced. Beautiful job!

KSCollier said...

Thanks Doreen for your comment. I am glad you called your son. I have two sons, and I need to tell them often.