Friday, September 23, 2011

Second Campaigner Challenge by Rachael Harrie

Rachael Harrie's Second Challenge

The Challenge is:

Write a blog post in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, whether flash fiction, non-fiction, humorous blog musings, poem, etc. The blog post should:

  • include the word "imago" in the title
  • include the following 4 random words: "miasma," "lacuna," "oscitate," "synchronicity,"

If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional and included in the word count), make reference to a mirror in your post.

For those who want an even greater challenge (optional), make your post 200 words EXACTLY


IMAGO OF THE SWAMP 2nd Try


“We're definitely lost!  Everything looks the same, like a mirror of green,”  Tommie said as she followed behind Maggie. 

“Ew, what was that I just stepped in?” Maggie asked, as she checked the bottom of her shoe.
Tommie watched as a miasma of green fumes rose from the squishy footprint she left behind. 
          “Don’t look back, Maggie.”

Of course, she had to look.  “We’re gonna die.  I just know it.  We’re gonna die.”
         
“Maggie, get a grip will you.”

The footprint left a gaping lacuna as it widened and deepened with every unbelieving blink they made. The ground rose around the void as it began to oscitate more of the acrid green smoke that swirled several yards into the air, causing a synchronicity of sounds as the ground belched.

“I think we need to run now,” Tommie said.

Their feet carried them across the squishy earth until they reached solid ground, and fell softly on their stomachs.  They laid there silently with only the sounds of their erratic breaths pounding in their ears.

"Come on, we can’t stop now,” Maggie panted.  Tommie stood and pulled Maggie to her feet.  Through the trees they saw the light, and never looked back.


 I liked them all.  Brilliant show of ideas and great use of the words everyone who entered. 

I am no longer #76 as some of my voters went on and voted more than once.  In all honesty this is unfair, and Rachael and I both agreed to the removal and restart to be able to fix the problem.  I would like to win honestly because I was able to draw several people to my site, and to Rachael's.  I take this business seriously, and I would prefer it if everyone would keep it at one vote only please for now on.

Please try again and vote once this time.  Thank you to everyone who votes. Click on link below:
http://rachaelharrie.blogspot.com/

I would like to thank all of you who voted honestly this time.  You guys were great in supporting me and thank you for visiting my site and Rachael's.  Thanks for your help.



                                                                   

34 comments:

Jennifer Pickrell said...

This line made me laugh:

“I think we need to run now,” Tommie said.

I can picture their exchange so well.

Cortney said...

Wow this was great! Very descriptive! I wonder what they're running from!

MyTricksterGod said...

Thrilling, though it would help if there was a story behind the scene.
But did you really like all the entries? A good lot were awesome, some showed promise, but I couldn't say they were all worth a like-click.
bi.

julie fedderson said...

Oh, this reminds me of Goosebumps stories! And I love how you used oscitate in reference to the ground--I don't think I've seen that yet! Great job!

F.E. Sewell said...

What a fun story! I loved your dialogue. I had a clear picture in my mind of them running in the swamp.

Jen said...

This has great dialogue and characterisation. I really like: "Of course, she had to look." Of course!
Mine is #3.

Sonia Lal said...

Great story. I liked the descriptions, how you worked mirror in.

bridgetstraub.com said...

Great job. You really managed to make the words fit smoothly. Mine is #29

jana-denardo said...

I really liked your take on this challenge.

Medeia Sharif said...

I want to see what happens next. Great job. :)

Sheri L. Swift said...

Sounds like a great teen adventure! ; )

KSCollier said...

Actually it is something that happened to me when I was younger only it went a little differently.

I was stupidly barefoot (I lived that way) and stepped in an area where they used to burn garbage and my foot sunk into the soil and I burned by foot terribly. It was blistered before I got home. That sure broke me of going barefoot, at least until my foot healed. Hehehe!

Tara Tyler said...

yuck! where could they be? hope they make it!

David Powers King said...

This was a fun read. Reminded me a lot of books I used to read in grade school. Loved the voice of your characters.

Great job, K.S.Collier! :)

D.J. Kirkby said...

You are the queen of understatement! Loved reading this.

Richard said...

I hope that's not in Florida, which is where I live. Good writing. Good luck.

MamaLadyBug said...

I had to get out my dictionary! LOL Thank you opening the door;-)

KSCollier said...

Thank you everyone for your comments. Like everyone else who entered, I found the words crazy hard to use. I can't tell you how many times I read and reread the definition. Finally, I started getting the feel of the words. I love learning new words and loved the opportunity to try.

Ciara said...

I like your work for this challenge. I'm love reading everyone unique twists. :) Great job.

KSCollier said...

Thanks Ciara I feel the same. It has been fun reading how much 5 words can change a story.

Maeve Frazier said...

Great read. I loved the voice of your characters.

Brinda said...

Great job, KS. I could almost hear the squish of the shoes. :)

KSCollier said...

Thank you Brinda. I thought yours was fabulous.

Angela Orlowski-Peart said...

Awesome story. Now I need to know what was happening in there! Great job on incorporating all the required words.

I'm # 157

Kurt Hartwig said...

I can't believe how well you incorporated the words and kept the atmosphere so young. Really nice.

bridgetstraub.com said...

I like that the never looked back! Mine is #29

Michele Helene (Verilion) said...

I had to go back and read it to make sure that all the words were in it. Good job. Mine is #153 BTW.

The Golden Eagle said...

I love your entry! :) It's one of the few I've come across with younger characters.

My entry.

Marcy said...

This was fun. I liked how you were able to use a personal experience to come up with a fun story. (PS, thanks for your comments on my blog)

raelynbarclay said...

I loved your dialogue. Great take on the challenge.

Ron Smith said...

This is very nice! And doing it with dialogue is especially commendable.

Great job.

Carrie Butler said...

Great story, KS! I was ready to run, too! ;)

LadyJai said...

Amazing! And I commend your moral persistence! Thanks for sharing. :D

Karen deBlieck said...

You did a great job here--the fear is palpable. I really enjoyed your piece!

#189